Things Aren’t Always as They Seem

My youngest son looked out the front window in the early morning and asked, “Who punched those down?” 

I looked up and saw he was referring to the Christmas yard inflatables lying flat on our front lawn. Yes, I suppose it was quite a shock to see poor Rudolph and the Swim Team Polar Bear forming melted puddles on the ground.

I laughed, “Nobody punched them; they’re just sleeping because their fans aren’t running.”

His comment amused me, but then I started thinking (even when it looks bad), we have to remember, things aren’t always as they seem.

When I was little, I was so excited I literally could not sleep on Christmas Eve. The hours would slowly tick by, while the anticipation for what was to come kept me tossing and turning, looking at the clock.

Santa, the reindeer, the joy, the magic … it was all so thrilling, and more than I could handle.

As we age, though, Christmas magic seems to somehow lose its luster.

I spent my teenage years setting an alarm clock, so my parents wouldn’t be too disappointed that I didn’t spring out of bed to see if Santa came.

But now that I’m grown, I see Christmas in a different light. The magic is still there; it’s just not like it seems when you are a child.

What I didn’t understand at the time is that Christmas is about more than a man in a red suit. And the true meaning of the season comes from within — it comes from your heart.

Having Christmas spirit is the ability to delight in the joy of others; realizing the most important gifts in life aren’t the things under your tree; seeing the excitement of a child; listening to laughter and cozying up on the couch; or having a cup of hot cocoa as you watch The Polar Express together.

Christmas is about coming together and celebrating each other. It’s about having joy for the things you have, hope for the things to come, and faith that everything is as it should be.

Now is the time to open your hearts to the real magic of Christmas and the love the season holds. Grab your friends and family and sing a song, bake some cookies, build a snowman, or just drive around and look at lights.

It’s never too late — or the wrong time — to get together, reconnect, and spread holiday cheer.

I’ve heard a lot of people say they’re tired of Christmas by the time it actually rolls around.

But don’t let holiday shopping, commercialism and email marketing turn you off to it altogether.

Ignore the hype and let the subtle sweetness of the season draw you in.

As you know, marshmallows melt when you put them in hot chocolate; but you know they’re still there, because you can taste them.

Christmas is about more than what you can see on the surface.

Make your kids remember, it’s not how many packages under the tree that’s important. It’s about the love behind the people that give the gifts that really matters.

Love is something you can’t always necessarily see, and some people even aren’t the best at showing it. But yet, as I said, things aren’t always as they seem. And the best way to get love is to give it first. Let the magic begin with you.

The Winter Rebellion

Winter isn’t coming this year … at least at my house. In fact, my children seem to believe they can ward it off altogether by starting an all-out rebellion against it.

The boys say they just won’t have it. And to demonstrate their dedication to the cause, they refuse to wear coats, shoes remain optional (let’s not start with the socks), and they burst into tears when I force them to put on pants.

And as all good rebels do, they’ve fought the system, and made way to bend — perhaps stretch — the rules as much as they can.

And by doing so, they’ve invented a brand new look.

My youngest actually coined the fashion statement, but my older son quickly followed suit. The sleeveless sweater vest — as a stand-alone clothing item — pants remain optional. They say it is all too practical, because they don’t have the bulk of long sleeves, but yet they’re kept quite warm by the weight of the sweater. In fact, they tell me, there’s really no need even for a jacket, because the vest is self-sufficient.

Seen in Black and White

Sometimes it’s important to reminisce — to bask in the past, and relish on what has been.

It’s good to just go through old things and remember when, laugh at yourself, and stir up feelings of long ago.

Every now and then I love to get in and dig out those old photos of friends, love letters my husband gave me (when he still had to work at it), and a few of my children’s baby clothes I just can’t seem to part with.

While our interests tend to revolve around what’s happening right now, and what’s trending on social media, walking down memory lane can actually be good for you.

Not only does it help you remember the good times, but it also shows you how far you’ve come, and more importantly, who has been by your side while doing it.

Shopping Buddies

The idea of shopping for many women (and some men) makes thoughts of sugarplums dance in your head. And with so many avenues to do it — through windows, online, in a catalog, and physically standing in a store — this is undoubtedly the best time of year for it. In fact, the National Retail Federation forecasts holiday sales to be at $630.5 billion this year.

Hold up, I want to change that image in your head from a beautifully-wrapped Christmas gift, to a buggy full of food. OK, this time, I’m talking grocery shopping — yes, perhaps a little less appealing.

Grocery shopping with your children; I’ve now made good thoughts disappear altogether — the sugarplums have left the building — and you’re probably hunkering down, cringing, and trying to crawl underneath the table.

Let’s just say, it’s a subject we don’t typically like to discuss.

Life is a Gift — Make the Most of It

With Thanksgiving right around the corner, I know I’ve already been dreaming about pumpkin pie and loaded mashed potatoes. But Thanksgiving is about more than eating all of things on your blacklist. It’s an opportunity to think about family, and all the blessings we have in this life.

And also — what’s sometimes harder to think about — the hardships, trials and failures.

But, these too, are necessary, because without these, we would not be who we are today.

Without the dark, would we appreciate the light? Without the bad times, could we really appreciate the good? Without knowing loss, are you ever truly able to embrace life?

A life cannot be lived without ups and downs, highs and lows, successes and failures. It’s easy to get caught up in your own personal struggles and forget about the bigger picture.

Trust me, the Thanksgiving turkey himself knows this better than anyone.

The Secrets Behind Award-Winning Smiles

Trying to brush an unwilling child’s teeth is like trying to wrestle a gator with clinched jaws. And you better watch out — they can (and do) bite.

After a lecture from the dentist about how we really need to be making the boys brush their teeth twice a day, I began to get worried.

How was I going to get this done?

The boys no longer do things just because I say they should. They question everything and anything you tell them to do. They must ask the whys, and the what ifs.

But why must we brush our teeth? What happens if you don’t eat your vegetables? Why do I have to wash my hands again after I use the bathroom?

They certainly keep me on my toes with so many questions. I now have to play out the “what happens if we don’t do this” scenarios for them. I appreciate their inquisitive minds, but it’s exhausting.

And for some reason, they don’t always believe the answers I give them. (Because you know, I’m so often trying to lead them astray.)

Finders Keepers

 Now where did I put that?

As I find myself endlessly searching through my house, I realize, yes, it’s true; I’m becoming my mother. I’ve laughed at her through the years because she’s always losing things; I even joked that she would lose her head if it wasn’t attached … and now my words have come back to bite me.

But I haven’t decided if I’m truly getting more forgetful in my old age, or if I just have more things to keep track of than ever before?

When you are a kid, you don’t fully comprehend how much your parents have on their plates.

Now I have a system in place to put my phone, car keys, wallet, glasses, etc., exactly in the same spot — that way I always know where to find them. And this works really well … when I actually do it. Now if I could just keep this up with everything else in my life.

Brothers Gotta Hug

I’ve always found there are advantages and disadvantages to every situation; you must make what you will of them.

I was an only child — and trust me — it definitely had its advantages.

Only children get to spend all their time in the limelight and don’t really have to share much; there is nobody to fight with, nobody to pull your hair; you become quite independent and creative; and of course, all the Christmas presents under the tree are for you.

But then again, being an only child has its drawbacks, too. Such as when you do something wrong (a true rarity), there is nobody else to point the finger at, and also no one to rally with you to sway authority (numbers always increase your odds). As an expert, I have seen the long-term side effects of being an only child include not knowing how to ask for help, being bossy and talking to yourself (when your parents ignore you, which they inevitably will do).

While growing up as an only child worked for me (for the most part — yes, I still talk to myself), when thinking about my own family, I knew I wanted to have more than one. Handling two (or more) is a whole other subject, but having a sibling always ensures you have someone to play with, and a person in your corner. My boys are close in age, and have grown up spending all their time together.

What Goes Around, Comes Back Around

Halloween is my boys’ favorite holiday. I don’t know if it’s the pumpkins, things that go bump in the night, or the plethora of sugar they enjoy so much, but dressing up for trick or treat is even bigger than Christmas at my house. In fact, the boys have been trying to decide what they were going to be for Halloween since last Halloween.

And every week — all year long — it’s been something different. Every time I thought we’d come to a decision, they went and changed their minds again.

But with the final day closing in on us, I forced the boys to make a choice. The costumes have been purchased, and I broke the news to them that they can’t change their minds anymore.

Begrudgingly, the boys have come to terms with this. So they’ve already moved on and started planning their Halloween costumes for next year.

Hardheaded, Headstrong Boys

“Is this Rachael Turner, Wyatt’s Mom?”

I hesitate, afraid to hear the news. “Yes.” What has he done now?

This is my second official visit to the school’s nurse’s office, my fourth injury report, and the second time I’ve signed a “know the signs of concussion” form.

Is it really only October? How am I going to make it through the school year at the rate we are going right now? What’s even worse is I have another boy starting school next year.

Look out for those Turner boys.

My six-year-old son explains simply that he must run or he will be caught. Apparently, the girls love to chase the boys, and if they catch them, hug them as much as possible.

Oh no — problems with girls and boys — yes, it’s already begun. And I thought I had a few more years to prepare.

Pajama Party

Sitting still for an hour when you are six is nearly impossible. But you’ve got to remember, one hour in children’s time is like a whole year for the average person.

It’s basically impossible not to fidget, wiggle or develop violent headshaking syndrome. Let’s face it, kids have a lot of energy, and they are not afraid to show it.

As adults, we are often happy to have those few minutes to just sit still and do nothing. But for kids, it’s torture.

I’ve often heard people say, “Man, I wish I had their energy.” So that got me thinking, where does this energy come from?

Your kids wake up excited, full of joy and ready to go. So why do we feel like we have to have a mocha latte with a double shot of espresso just to keep up?

Because we don’t follow the same rules we set for our kids. We make them eat, sleep and play at specific set times, in ample amounts, every day. This is the perfect recipe for energy.

What’s funny is we spend a lot of our time and energy trying to think up creative ideas to entertain our children. But of all the people in the world, they are absolutely the easiest to keep occupied. It’s us who need the entertainment. We need the soccer game to cheer at, the outing to the park or pool, or the play date with other parents.

Children delight in the simplicities of life.

Life Lessons, Pure and Simple

The older you get, the more it seems you enjoy stories from your parents and grandparents. What was it really like when they were a kid? What did they do for fun?

Childhood, when you are in it, seems like it will never end. But you turn around, look in the mirror, and your youth has suddenly vanished. You realize your parents aren’t so much older than you — as you used to think they were.

My kids laughed and told me just the other day, “No, you were never a kid, mommy.” Obviously, to them, I’ve always just been a mommy. There was nothing before, and nothing after.

Hopefully, with age, comes wisdom and truth. As I’ve grown up, family traditions and old ways of doing things have become more interesting to me. As I child, I would usually spend a week of the summer with my grandparents in Indiana. They had a large garden, and I used to love to go and pick berries and beans or corn with my grandfather in the early mornings.

Now, I don’t have a large garden, but I have become more interested in what my family is putting in their mouths lately.

Greener on the Other Side

My husband broke his toe this week in a rambunctious brawl with the boys. (Sometimes I think he is worse than the kids — the instigator.)

Taking his plight into consideration, I decided to go where I never thought I would go … where I never thought I could go … and that’s making a date with the Lawn-Boy.

Now in some circumstances, when you have a real young man that takes care of the yard, this might not be such a bad situation. Unfortunately, for us, we don’t.

Yes, I mowed the entire yard — all by myself. I have never even started up a push mower in my entire life. It may have taken me twice as long, and there may have been moments when on-looking neighbors were laughing at me, but I made it through — our steep backyard and all.

What can I say? I realize now I’ve been a kept woman. I went straight from having a dad who mowed the lawn to being married, and therefore, having a husband to do the dirty work for me.

Truth Be Told

It was Miss Scarlet, with the candlestick, in the Library.

Remember that game? Clue (Cluedo outside the U.S.) was invented in England in 1944. It was the original who-done-it game; collect bits of information to find out who committed the crime.

I’ve been reminded of fond memories of playing this beloved board game as I have been playing my own, modern-day form of the game with my children as of late.

Trying to get any information out of two little boys requires quite the investigation and interrogation. And even then, you are left wondering if the information provided holds any truth at all?

Nobody wants to confess to anything at my house. Who hit whom first? Who made a mess in the bathroom? Who wrote on the wall? Who started it?

Wasn’t me. Couldn’t be!

So Grown Up

So, I did well. I made it through the entire day, keeping myself extra busy … and I didn’t even cry. I’ll admit, I might have held back a tear or two, but I’m brave, and I certainly didn’t want to make him worry even more.

Standing there in the gym, I now felt anxious. Where was he? I really just wanted to grab him and get out of this crowd. I let out a sigh of relief when I finally saw his teacher entering the gym with a little line of heads right behind her.

But the instant I saw him, my eyes suddenly swelled with tears. I could no longer hold them back, and a few gently rolled down my cheeks. I wiped them away as quickly as I could, before anyone could see them … other people might see those tears and think I am one of those crazy, attached moms. You know the kind who’s holding on to the kid, as he says, “It’s OK mom, you can let go now.”

I’m certainly not one of THOSE moms.

Old Chapter, New Beginnings

Summer is my favorite season — it holds its own sort of magic with the hot days, muggy nights, family get-togethers and time on the water. Summer has truly become more than just a season for me; it’s a way of life.

But this year, things are changing. My oldest boy is starting school this week. Yes, the big Kindergarten … which everybody who’s anybody knows is quite the colossal deal these days. And, I can’t help but realize my summer will ending far too soon this year. Yes, it’s back to school, and the party is officially over.

Formal education requires structure, which means early to bed, early to rise … oh, and it’s time to buy those school supplies.

As I walked into the gymnasium at Russell Primary School for the Kindergarten orientation, I wasn’t prepared for what was inside. No, it wasn’t the crowd that caught my attention, or all the sounds of the enthusiastic children, or even the overwhelming feeling that my little boy is growing up and leaving me … but as I entered those doors, I was taken back. Twenty-six years later, school still smells exactly the same. How do they do that?

Suddenly I was a kid again walking through those doors. Memories of school days flooded into my head — things I simply had put out of my mind —the smells, the sounds, the cafeteria food … recess, favorite teachers and friends of long ago.

Fresh Paint

So, you’ve observed the house is looking a little dingy around the edges. Perhaps it’s time to do a little revive and refresh work. It will make the house look better, you feel better, and give you a new, fresh attitude about life.

You pick your colors, buy paint, grab the tools, and you are set.

It’s all been leading up to this moment. You pop open the fresh can of paint, and nothing but possibilities lie ahead. Yes, everything looks more promising at this point.

It’s kind of like when you take your old car out for a spin, and vacuum it out and wash it up. Suddenly, your beloved hooptie looks a little better; you might even be able to keep it around a bit longer. Cheers to another 100,000 miles. After all, everything looks better with a little TLC (and perhaps some elbow grease).

Taking Turns

In life, we tend to take a lot of things for granted. We often breeze through our days thinking about the things we don’t have, instead of the things we do.

This came to my full attention on vacation when I had to share one restroom with my boys and husband. While this may not sound like a big deal, it became quite the ordeal as the week progressed. Let’s just say we had our own “bleachable” moments.

Not only did the boys make big messes with toothpaste and toilet paper, and the inability to hit the target, they also apparently have synchronized bathroom habits. It never failed when one boy (big or small) would go, the others would have to suddenly go as well. So everyone (not occupying the restroom) would jump around in the hallway waiting their turn … some did this better than others. Patience is a hard thing to learn.

It’s All About the Journey

There are four words every parent dreads hearing: “Are we there yet?”

Yes, those little words hold enough power to bring despair to your heart … especially when you are five minutes in to a 9-hour drive.

“No, not yet.”

“When will we be there?”

“Not soon enough,” you say again through gritted teeth under your breath.

Yes, nothing quite says summer like a good family road trip — setting out on the open highway for a change of scenery and new experiences.

But taking car trips across the country with your kids can be an adventure in and of itself. The screaming, the crying, the multiple rest area stops, dropped toys, and food fights … yes, it’s a time that brings everyone together … perhaps a little too together.

Ride of Your Life

Why does time have to fly by when you are having fun?

It drags on and on when you are doing something you don’t want to do (like exercise), and yet speeds up when you are having the time of your life.

Apparently, I’ve been having a blast lately, because I’ve suddenly turned around, and I’ve realized I don’t look like the person I used to be. I am not even exactly the woman my husband married.

I am someone quite different now. Ten years ago, I probably wouldn’t even recognize myself as I am today. I am a mother with two kids — a little bit older, hopefully a little bit wiser, but definitely changed.

Your parents always tell you that life after kids will be different. But you shrug it off. What do they know anyway?

You’ll be the person who changes the limits. You’ll be the parent who has it all — the career, the exciting hobbies, the parent of the year award. Yes, life is going to happen for you.

Sometimes I wonder about the shadow of my former self. Before I was married, my great love was a 16.1 hand, bay Thoroughbred named William.

Get Out There and Make Mistakes

Children possess a natural gift. The ability to love, no questions asked. You will find the kids in your life will hold you up on a pedestal for nothing else than being their teacher, being their friend or being their parent.

You didn’t do anything special to get on that pedestal — just being a part of their lives was enough.

But, at some point, we have to tell them the inevitable truth. Parents make mistakes too.

As humans, we are perpetually flawed, and I think it’s good not to hide this fact from kids.

Children can feel substandard in a seeming world of perfection.

But, let’s face it we are far from flawless. Adults just get better at hiding it. We like to brush things under the rug and act like nothing is wrong.

But it may actually be healthier just to throw a tantrum every now and then, as my five year old does when something doesn’t work.

Sometimes life is hard, and we make the wrong choices, or things just will not — as much as you try — go your way.

Full-Time Parents Unite

It’s kind of funny that today a line is drawn between working moms and stay-at-home moms (or dads).

After reading an article about how children of working mothers are better off, I began thinking.

The funny thing is we all work … obviously we do different work. But the thing is no matter if you are a working mom, or if you stay home with your kids, you’re a parent full time. That never changes.

Balancing your family life with whatever you have going on is when things can get hard. It’s how you handle these challenges that really counts.

Who knows whose children will come out better on the other side?

Every family is different; I feel you just have to make choices and decisions that are best for your family.

Let's Get Technical

I don’t know how many times I’ve heard things like, “Kids today are so different. They know so much more.”

“Yes, but they spend so much time playing indoors. We certainly don’t live in the same world as we used to.”

I do see that children today know a lot, but I think children aren’t so different than they ever were … they just now have cooler gadgets. We all do.

Hear Us Roar

Life at my house ­— post Jurassic World, that is ­— will never be the same.

The big screen has once again captured the hearts of my children as it brought dinosaurs back to life, and spun them into a modern-day-world. Just as Jurassic Park thrilled me back in my elementary days, the new movie has gone above and beyond to incorporate what we love most about dinosaurs with our world, as we know it.

Yes, we’ve already been to see the new movie in the theatres … twice.

Now I get to listen to the sound of roaring all day and night. I just hope everyone else in our general vicinity (wherever we happen to be) appreciates my little dinosaurs as much as I do. All I can say is, yes, they have been practicing their dinosaur sounds. They are quite good, and quite loud. I apologize in advance.

When we are not pretending to be dinosaurs, we’ve been spending most of our spare time learning more about dinosaurs.

All of this reading has made me think a lot about time, and even more about family.

My Very Hungry Caterpillars

It is said — you are what you eat.

It’s hard enough getting the message through to yourself, but getting kids to eat right, can be even trickier. So, to make this concept easier for my two boys to understand, I explain:

If you want to swim like a fish, jump like a chicken, grow tall and strong like a carrot, vibrant like a strawberry and wholesome like yogurt, that’s what you need to stuff in your face.

My boys literally eat me out of house and home. They are quite skilled at jumping, climbing, reaching and sneaking for food. The boys eat and eat and eat — everything and anything they can get their hands on. I’ve never seen anything like it. I refer to this time as: the feeding stage, because they are quite like The Very Hungry Caterpillar on his quest for food. And as caterpillars, we know they go about mindlessly eating whatever is in front of them.

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall

My three-year-old boy is delighted with the way he looks.

He squeals with pleasure as he looks at pictures and videos of himself. He even enjoys staring at his own reflection in the mirror.

Obviously, he’s impressed with what he sees. He admires the way he looks, and I love that about him.

In truth, I could learn something from him.

In life, there are plenty of times you will be knocked flat on your face. You’ve got to find the strength from within to pick yourself up and always try, try again.

And I’ve learned if you are going to ever be successful, you’ve got to at least embrace who you see in the mirror, and accept your individuality and yourself.

Absolutely, Sometimes Say Never

Kids live in a world of absolutes. They have an all or nothing attitude about life.

When you won’t let them do something … “You never let me.” After you make them clean up … “You always do this.” If something doesn’t go their way … “I hate this.” Or – heaven forbid – you make them try something new … “I can’t.”

Luckily, their absolutes are completely relative to their emotions, and therefore, continually change like the tide. Everything isn’t always as black and white as they make it out to be.

But the world does certainly seem more straight-forward in an all or nothing approach.

And thinking about it, it’s the people who have this view of the world who ultimately end up changing the limits. The risk takers, the inventors, the entrepreneurs – maybe they are the people who never really grew up. They aren’t afraid to challenge the world as we know it. They stand up and say we can never move forward if something doesn’t change.

The True Superheroes

People are attracted to the idea of superheroes. These larger-than-life defenders possess extraordinary talents, are fearless and courageous. They are essentially a better version of ourselves, and everything we wish we could be.

Yes, we just took our boys to see the new Avengers movie. And they have since been running around the house with nothing else on their minds. I have one who thinks he’s made of iron and flies, and the other says he’s turning green when he is mad. And now, as it’s the in-thing to do, he gets mad a lot. No, I didn’t give him the go-ahead to tear up his room, but I don’t think the Hulk ever asks for permission.

Yes, it’s obvious, superhero skills and abilities fascinate and excite.

Back in the real world, most of us realize nobody is born with superhuman-strength, or the ability to save the entire world all on their own.

But, at the same time, I’ve realized it’s important to not waste time thinking about what we can’t do, and focus on what we can. Because what we can do, does matter.

Attention to the Details

“Mommy, look. Mommy, look. I got dressed by myself.”

Yes, I can clearly see that.

“Mommy, look. Mommy, look. I am going to say my ABCs.

Now watch, mommy. I’m going to say my ABCs with my eyes closed.”

Ha, OK. What a very rare and exceptional talent.

“Mommy, look, Mommy, look. I went to the potty. Come see. You didn’t look. No, look Mommy.”

Yes, I see. I’m so proud.

This is any given day at my house. My kids seek constant attention and want me to watch them do absolutely everything. And when there’s something they want, they find a way get it, one way or another.

Locker Room Etiquette

We all want our families to be great teams – ones that can both work hard and play hard together to achieve common goals.

At my house, we’re in everything together, and we give it our best to collectively handle whatever is thrown our way.

But, sometimes my kids take this thinking a bit too literally. Whatever I do, wherever I go, I have two little shadows behind me. Yes, I enjoy their company, but there are a few things I would prefer to do on my own. While I have explained the concept of privacy to my children, they certainly don’t see it as a priority or a necessity. To them, it’s quite straightforward; even mundane tasks prove to be more fun and entertaining when we are all together.

And, it just so happens, my boys enjoy being in the bathroom more than anywhere else in the house. I think it’s the indoor water park that attracts them. They love to take baths, wash their hands a million times, and flush the toilet over and over. They like showing off in the water so much, it’s kind of like having a front row seat in the splash zone at SeaWorld.

Cheeseburgers in Paradise

Paradise brings various thoughts to mind. For me, it’s a hot beach, cool ocean breeze and time away from it all.

Unfortunately, this year, there will be no great escape. Since my husband was involved in the international oil strike, we’ve decided we should allocate our money to other things and skip going on a big trip this year.

Of course, I’ve reasoned we can do all sorts of other fun things like spending time on the boat, biking and day trips. Somehow Grayson Lake is not quite the beach, but everything is always better somewhere near the water.

Sing Me a Memory

Universally, people of all ages relate to music. Music makes us want to dance and sing, and recalls memories to our minds – some happy, some sad – but always seeming to shed light on simple truths in our lives.

Sometimes songs can even take us back to a particular moment in time, and it’s like we are there, living it all over again. Maybe you are on a family road trip, 16 and driving your car too fast, with your first love or even saying your final goodbyes.

Music has the ability to draw us back, by making us feel exactly as we did then.

Days and moments pass us by all the time. It becomes easy to not fully appreciate what you have until it’s gone. And sometimes, we don’t even realize the significance of a moment until later in life.

My dad is no longer here, and yet I think about him all the time. It’s beginning to get harder to remember the sound of his voice. In fact, it’s funny, but it seems I can recollect it best in memories of him singing to me as I would go to sleep as a child.

Nocturnal Notions

Kids like to pick their battles. Some throw fits over eating vegetables, while others develop a fear of water at bath time. For my kids, it’s simple, they just hate going to bed. And their main objective in life these days is to do the opposite of what I want. So when I want peace and quiet, they want chaos.

My boys try to throw all-night pajama parties by explaining they’re nocturnal creatures, and they’re allowed to stay up all night. I have to put my foot down and say, no, you are not nocturnal, and you need your sleep. Yes, I admit to them, animal parents must be nicer than we are.

When this doesn’t work, I try to take the scientific approach and explain our senses are better adapted during daylight hours, while some animals are better adapted for the dark. But this doesn’t stop them … after all, we have battery-operated flashlights and electricity on our side.

The Good Stuff

“Mommy, all the chocolate is gone.”

I turn around to see my son crinkle a blue foil in his hand.

My heart suddenly stops. “Where did you get that?”

“It was in a jar, up in the cabinet.”

Oh no. My worst fears have come true.

The kids discovered my hiding spot … you know the place you keep the good stuff hidden away? Such as the chocolate that is supposed to be off limits to small people.

Dirty Little Secrets

So your family is piling up the laundry, dirty dishes are waiting for you in the sink, and your children ran through the mud and tracked it through the house. You’d think this would all put you over the edge, driving you into the depths of despair.

You will never be able to get it all done, let alone have any spare time for yourself.

But you’ve got to put away these negative thoughts, and look at things in a new light. Just tell your kids (and your spouse) to go at it … get in there and make those messes. Cheer them on even.

As the debris start accumulating, you stay relaxed and take it all in stride. After all, you know how to keep your cool. In fact, snacks and juice all around! Anything for your family.

Animated Wisdom

Have you ever noticed that cartoon characters make a statement with the way they dress? Some choose only to wear pants, while others wear shirts, then some are fully dressed, and yet others run around with absolutely nothing on. What’s the significance of who wears what?

I’ve figured out most of the main cartoon characters are wearing some clothes, but then their friends and pets often don’t wear clothes at all. But yet, they are all animals. Do the artists just get tired by the time they draw the supporting characters? All I can say is, while it’s obviously hard being the friend of someone famous, my advice is always to dress for the job you want, not the job you have.

Empty Boxes

You give an adult an empty box, and they think, what am I missing? Obviously, you must have forgotten something.

You give a child the same empty box, and they are off on a grand adventure … suddenly they’re out for a drive, playing house, traveling to space, or perhaps just hanging out in their turtle shell.

People always joke that children enjoy the box or bag as much as the gift. And it’s probably true. Of course, they will always love toys, but to children, empty boxes aren’t just that, they are full of possibility.

Smother Knows Best

A mother is naturally the caregiver in the family. She has the kiss to cure a boo-boo, the hug that dries away the tears, the cake that makes you forget your worries, and a song to send you to sleep. A mother takes on the role of being the rock, the mast carrying the sails and the glue that holds everyone together.

You end up doing so much for your children, it’s hard to know where to draw the line. You want your children to be independent, but you also want what’s best for them. And sometimes, a mother knows best. OK, we always know best. It’s difficult to let your children make their own decisions – especially when you know they are the wrong ones. It becomes hard not to be a bit of a smother.

Into the Wild

Snow days bring such lovely thoughts to mind ­— staying home wrapped in a blanket, taking in a good book and drinking hot chocolate.

But, as a stay-at-home mom with two little boys (ages five and three), it’s more like being trapped in a box with wild animals desperately trying to get out of their cage. With no good release for their excess energy, watch out … on edge, wild animals will rely on their instincts as opposed to their learned (better) behavior.

Essentially your house becomes the hunting grounds. The predators’ plans are simple: attack, destroy and eat everything in sight. And believe me, they take no prisoners.

Sweet Rewards

Our kids are in the negotiation phase of life. If we want them to do things, it will happen, but usually it comes with some benefit to them – they usually end up on top.

They will clean up their room … for a treat, they will clear the table … for a bath, and of course they will eat their vegetables … for dessert. It’s a classic, but in our house, it gets the job done.

But if you think about it, very few things in life are done without some kind of incentive.

Married Soup

Some of the troubles women have with men begin when they start thinking men think like they do. First of all, men are not complicated, they don’t say one thing and mean another … they don’t have different meanings for words based on the tone … they don’t analyze situations over and over.

Let’s give men credit where credit is due. They are straightforward; they know what they want.

Living with three boys (both large and small), I’ve realized the surefire way straight to their hearts, and to their love, begins right in their mouths … those big, loud mouths. Nothing gives them a thrill like when I come home from the grocery store with their favorite snacks, or when I surprise them by making their favorite meals, or even better, late-night brownies. Suddenly, I’m an instant celebrity, who can do no wrong.

Seven Points for LOVE

Now that I live the life of a leisurely stay-at-home mom/trophy wife (ha!), my husband and I joke all the time that I married him for his money. But if you know us at all, you know this is far from true. The man I married was actually unemployed. In fact, he quit his job working at a horse stable just so we could go on our honeymoon. But we didn’t fear for our future, we were young, blinded by hope, and living on love.

And it’s a good thing that’s how it all began, because here we are … with our one income family surviving a union refinery strike … we are back to living, and surviving, on that love.

Milestones

Remember when your kids were babies — you thought how funny they would look with teeth?! But lately, it’s been getting hard to remember what my boys looked like without them. Until last night, when my 5-year-old lost his two bottom, front teeth. Now, I can’t help but look at him and remember that silly, toothless grin. I wondered then, what he was thinking? What would his voice sound like? Would he always be that adorable?

I couldn’t imagine what he would look like when he was older, and I’m the same way today. Right now, at 5’3”, I feel like a tall person … well, I am taller than two out of the four people in this house. But then I look at mothers with teenage boys and I try to make myself think, hmmm … that will be me one day. I may no longer feel so tall.

I wanted my little boy to have no fears about losing his first tooth, so I bought him a Tooth fairy shark pillow to get him excited about it. However, losing his first two teeth (by me holding him, and his Grannie whipping the danglers out), proved to be pretty traumatic for him. He screamed and screamed forever after the deed was done. He thought the world, as he knew it, had ended.

Eat Together, Stay Together

Every time I take the kids out to eat, I usually regret it. One of them ends up crying because they can’t sit beside me, while the other is using the booth as a trampoline, and then we usually wrap things up with a food fight or making snow angels on the floor of the restaurant.

Of course, all these things happen when we are home as well, but at least I don’t have people watching me while they do it. And I figure they are probably safer eating food off the floor at home. Probably.

Nightlife

They say when you have kids, the party is over. But really, it’s the other way around. You may need that double shot of espresso after dinner, because your days of nightlife are just beginning.

Remember when you used to go out with your friends (where are those people by the way?), and stay up late? You were still guaranteed to be able to come home and crash hard — in a bed — without little monsters looming in your closet, until the next day.

A Woman's Favorite Day

Forget Valentine’s Day, it’s the day every woman looks forward to the most — the annual trip to the gynecologist.

As they called my name and led me down the hall to the little back room, I wasn’t nervous. Eight years of marriage and two kids later, I’ve certainly been there, done that. As they handed me my choice attire – which by the way, they said I could keep – my lovely pink, paper gown, the girl smiled and said, “We’ve got to get the worst part over first.”

Worst part? As if there were some part of this visit that was pleasant? Is there something new I don’t know about?

I had absolutely no idea what she meant, then I realized she was pointing to a scale on the floor.

I Wanna Be Like You

My youngest boy currently thinks I hung the moon in the sky - not a bad place for a mom to be.

Whatever mama does, he does too.

He is home with me all day and wants to mimic my every action. Even if this includes scrubbing the bath tub, jumping rope in place, eating Brussels sprouts, or putting on eyeliner … yes, I have to say, he’s not so good at that.

It’s amazing to see your kids absorb life like a sponge … even when the sponge is named SpongeBob Squarepants.

Feel the Burn

It’s the time of day I dread the most – time to feel the burn.

Yes, it’s true that this is somewhat because my body is screaming at me, “Why? Why me??!” The pain, the sweat, the anguish, but mostly, it’s because I dread what the boys will do next.

Will they break another tablet, have a wrestling/biting/kicking/fighting match, eat a whole box of cookies, take off all their clothes, steal your free weights, try to swing like a monkey on your treadmill again, or attempt to fly off a piece of furniture?

Chances are yes, yes and yes.

New Year, New Blog

As parents, we take on the role of being cheerleaders for our kids.

But, we tend to forget we need someone in our corner, too. It’s important to have family and friends who support your goals.

That’s what my husband has been doing for me lately. He challenged me to take my blog to the next level.

It’s important to have people not only encourage your skills, but give you the extra push to make it happen. Sometimes other people are better at telling you what you are good at than you are.