You end up doing so much for your children, it’s hard to know where to draw the line. You want your children to be independent, but you also want what’s best for them. And sometimes, a mother knows best. OK, we always know best. It’s difficult to let your children make their own decisions – especially when you know they are the wrong ones. It becomes hard not to be a bit of a smother.
As a stay-at-home mom to two little boys (ages five and three), my husband jokes that I’m raising two little mama’s boys.
And I will admit, I do baby them. But that’s what mothers are for. The world is not always a warm and loving place. I want to be the person they can always come to, tell their problems to, and ask for advice. When they get older, they may not always appreciate my words of wisdom, but at least they will always know I’m here to give them.
Truthfully, I like being needed; it brings warmth to my heart when they ask for my help.
Like any proper mother, I am also guilty of physically smothering my children with love and kisses. Boys will try to offend you by wiping your smooches away, but I know, deep down, they secretly like the attention. Can you ever really show someone too much that you love them?
And all children really want is to be loved and accepted. Despite their long lists of demands, no amount of gizmos and gadgets can ever replace the time you spend with them and the love you give.
I do stand aside every now and then (holding my breath), to let my boys make their own decisions. And they are still so young, their bad choices are not usually life-altering, but involve such things as going out and about in mismatched clothes, eating disgusting things off restaurant floors, and not washing their hands after they use the bathroom.
Luckily, I’m on the sidelines waiting … with Germ-X … that’s what mothers are for.
And as they grow, I fully intend to be the mom who shows up at school, embarrasses them in front of their friends, goes through their things, and hangs up the phone when they are supposed to be studying.
But being annoying is all in a mom’s job description. As parents, we only want what’s best for our kids. We want them to succeed and thrive in life.
Hopefully, in time, they will come to appreciate all of the things you’ve done to make this happen -- all the things you have sacrificed, the sleepless nights, the worry, the fears. One day, they will know what it’s all about.
Until that time, your kids can just roll their eyes and laugh at their crazy mom -- the cheerleader of their lives. The one who is standing in the corner and yelling at the top of her lungs at their games, the one who is calling parent-teacher conferences when someone picks on them, the one who is glaring at the girl they bring home on a date.
Some people will advise you not to make your children your whole world because you will lose your sense of self. This is easier said than done. When you become a parent, everything changes. Your next step becomes dependent on their next step; what makes them happy, ultimately makes you happy.
And I’m here to tell you, that that is OK.
Without the sacrifices my own parents made, I can’t imagine where I would be today. They made mistakes, sure, but they loved me more than anything, and that I will always know.
So, I will carry on, being the mother who protects and guides her children the only way she knows how. And while I may seem a bit extreme, or perhaps insane, it all comes straight from the heart. My efforts are only things any good smother would do.
